my Momma Said....
Be sure to refill
the ice trays, we're going to have company.
Watch for the postman, I want to get this
letter to Dennis in the mail today.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go
Be sure and pull the windows down when you
leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.
Wash behind your ears. They are so dirty you
could grow potatoes.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all day
Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and
sweat all under there.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs?
Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing
left to put a patch on.
Don't you go outside
with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have
nested in it all night.
Be sure and pour the
cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.
Take that empty
bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel
over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the
oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!
Let me know when the
Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.
You boys stay close
by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push start it.
There's a dollar in
my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a
breeze through here, it is getting hot.
You can walk to the
store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.
Don't sit too close to the TV. It is hard on
If you pull that
stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on
Why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for nothing.
If you are going to dance you have to pay the fiddler.
Get out from under that sewing machine; pumping
it messes up the thread!
Be sure and fill the
lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.
Here, take this old magazine to the
toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
You look like you need an enema
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash the dishes.
Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry
No, I don't have 25
cents for the picture show. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat your turnips, they'll make you big
and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't
care how cold it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house.
Sit still. I'm trying to get your hair
cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth out
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of
castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get another one
when you get home.
Quit crossing your
eyes! They will get stuck that way!
Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene
so that cut will heal up.
When you take your driving test, don't forget
to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window
for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow
for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the
door when you are
going to stop.
It's: 'Yes Ma'am!' and 'No Ma'am!' to me, young
man, and don't you forget it!
Y'all come back now,