When School Bored President Zanappy was given the task
of hiring the current stuperintendent, he sorted through a stack
of resumes and found four people who he felt were qualified.
He called the four in and asked them only one question.
Their answers were used determine which of them would get the job.
On the day of the interview, the four sat around the conference room
table and Zanappy asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT."
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there.
A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied Zanappy.
"And now you sir?" he asked the second man.
"Hmm . . . . let me see. A blink!
It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.
A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said Zanappy.
"The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed."
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house
and on the wall there's a light switch.
When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture
the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant.
Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
Zanappy was very impressed with the third
answer and thought he had found his man.
"It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Bubba LaBeaver, the fourth and final man,
Zanappy posed the same question.
Old Bubba LeBeaver replied,
"After hearing the three previous answers,
it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said Zanappy, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba LaBeaver.
"You see the other day I wasn't feeling so
good and I ran for the bathroom.
But, before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT,
I had already shit in my pants!"
The rest is history.