You were raised in Suffolk County If...

You get proofed not carded.

You had a sheriff's card.

You can tell the guys or girls on the other side of the bar are from Queens .

You know that 110 separates Nassau and Suffolk .

You don't brush the sand off your feet before you get in the car.

Someone says "Let's go to the shore" you don't know what the hell they're talking about.

You and your friends go to the beach, but the word beach never comes up in the conversation.
Instead, it sounds something like this...

"Well, we could go to Jones, but Robert Moses is closer,

the North Shore is too rocky...

whatever lets go to the Hamptons."

And when you do say the beach, it means Fire Island.


Doing 90 over the Robert Moses Bridge or on Ocean Parkway is perfectly fine.

Someone says "The Forks" they don't mean silverware.

When you hear "the end", you think Montauk. Orient Point never crosses your mind.


At some point in your life you've gone clamming.

You've used a clam shell for an ash tray.

You can tell the difference between a Fluke and a Flounder.

You close your eyes you can still smell the ocean.

You know what low tide smells like.

You have seen an Osprey in action

You know which beaches allow surfing.

You've partied in the woods or camped on the beach at least once in your life.

When you say that you are going to "the outlets", Tanger is implied.

You tried to "Save the Oak Beach Inn".

You know which way the winds blowing by looking at the seagulls.

You've had a seagull crap on your car.

Flip-flops are normal, even in January.

You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.

You know where MacArthur Airport is.

You know the difference between a "Parkway" and an "Expressway". 

You've driven the stretch of Ocean Parkway in the winter without passing another car.

You walked across the bay when it was frozen.

And you know that all scooters don't Have wheels.


You know where "The Big Duck" is.

You've refused to use the bathroom on the LIRR because it was the right thing to do.

You shopped at A&P or Bohack's.

You ate at Flo's in Blue Point.

In the summer, we all waited for the Good Humor or Bungalow Bar Truck
to come to your street, to buy ice cream.

You still scream in the tunnel going from the parking lot to Smith Point Beach .

You enjoyed summer Monday night Cherry Avenue School Dances.

WALK and WBAB were your only source of local information.

French Fries from the concession stand at the beach was considered health food.

You have more Pro sports to root for than anywhere else in the country
(Jets, Giants, Mets, Yankees, Knicks, Nets, Rangers, Islanders)

You watched the stock car races at Islip Speedway.

You have seen a Sunrise and Sunset at the Beach.

You know it's not good when someone says "full moon" and "Nor' Easter" in the same sentence.

You know your not suppose to climb on the jetty but you still do.

You're from one of 3 places: North Shore, South Shore , or East End.

You've cursed out the Jack n' a Box drive thru clown at 3:00 am on a Tuesday.

You remember the sky diving at Eastport.

You store stuff in empty bottles.


You know that Merrick Rd. and Montauk Hwy are the same road.

The Hampton Bays Diner saved you from wetting your pants on many occasions.

You can't understand why a diner would ever close.


You remember the "Bar Car" on the LIRR.

You know what to do with a Lacrosse stick.

You don't associate Fire Island with gay men, but
You know Miss Fire Island ain't a Miss!

Wandering around Davis Park, Fire Island trashed is an acceptable plan for any night.


You can't say "Hot Dog Beach" without giggling from the memories.

You remember going into but not coming out of a drive in theater.

Hawaiian Tropic replaced Coppertone as your  "sunscreen".

You played Putt-Putt.

You know that there is a big difference between any of the other Hamptons , and Hampton Bays.

You remember Bob Morgan doing a Broadway Show tune at his White Cap Bar in Westhampton. Beach.

You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons , unless you got smashed at the Boardy Barn.

You stumped the Super Suds with an unknown oldie at the Boardy Barn on Sunday night,

and showed the original 45 as proof!


You saw the Rascals at the Barge before they were famous,

But the best band in the Hamptons were the Vagrants (Leslie West and Mountain) at the Castaways.

You leave your money on the bar.

You spent part of your summer dancing in a basement called the Cave.

You could name the bartenders and bouncers at
The Gold Coast II, Tavern on the Lake, Oliver Twist Inn, Tiana Beach Club (Castaways),
The Eye, Drift Inn, Mad Hatter, Ed's Bay Pub, , etc

As much as you try not to you still curse a lot. 

You actually get these jokes


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