South Skunky Schools

News Flashers

Dr.LaBeaver ordered the installation of skylights for all 1st floor rooms.
Teachers with second floor rooms have expressed some concerns.

There was a power outage at central office yesterday ...
several administrators were trapped on the escalators!
Mike Loves LaBeaver. Everyone else thinks he is an asshole!

Dr. LaBeaver goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, I've been
feeling terrible lately, I feel so badly I don't know if I'm coming
or going." The Doc tells him to disrobe completely, get on his hands
and knees and crawl away from him, then turn around and crawl back.
Then the Doc says: "I don't know either."
At a recent South Skunky School Board meeting several speakers aired
their views on education, solemnly and otherwise.
Whe asked for her opinion Mrs.Baller remarked: "I believe that if
you have pupils of greater ability, you will get better results in
global studies."
Dr. LaBeaver agreed stating "If the correlation of intrinsic
competency to actual numerical representation is definitely
high, then the thoroughly objective conclusion may inexpugnably be
reached that the scholastic derivations and outgrowths will attain a
pattern of unified superiority."

Dr. LaBeaver stood at the bank teller`s window. The teller looked at
him & the check he wished to cash, then asked him if he could identify
himself. He pulled out a small mirror from his purse, glanced at it,
& with relief said, " Yes, it`s me all right."

A drunk at the Dumbtown Inn stands up and says, "LaBeaver is an ASSHOLE!"
A Taxpac'er at the bar stands up and says,
"Hey! I resent that!"
The drunk asks, "Why are you
"NO!" He replys, "I'm an asshole!"

Stuperintendent LaBeaver  wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a
phony beard sat down at the Dumbtown Inn and ordered a drink.
As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"
"Yeah," LaBeaver answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.
"That's right.  My last four scores were seven years ago."