To: All Employees
From: Dr. LaBeaver
CC: South Skunky Bored of Education
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.on the
job, please see your principal. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. LIST, as our principals are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our principals took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and
can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING