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by Robert Berry

Count Chocula
Is your memory good enough to handle Yummy Mummy
or Fruite Brute the Werewolf?
Sugar coated demons from childhood
leave milk-stained pentagrams
that call to me with animated television spells,
possessing me with plastic totems
left in the bottom of the box.

Spoons click and clank against unholy bowls
with tooth dissolving wickedness
fortified with 666 vitamins and minerals.

So unhealthy
So good
So good

Buy the box,
dump it all in a salad bowl,
glug glug glug high fat whole white milk inside,
and crunch the beasts.

Drink the sweet blue Boo Berry milk
and ride the high through hours of Scooby Doo.
This is the cardboard cereal box womb
that nurtures like no mother can!

I'm ready for another bowl

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FRANKENBERRY and COUNT CHOCULA were both created in 1971, and were followed 2 years later by their buddy BOO-BERRY.   Though sometimes they'e only available regionally in some grocery stores, or only around Halloween time, they're still produced to this day.

They were followed for a short while by FRUIT BRUTE and FRUITY YUMMY MUMMY, but they didn't last very long. 

Some people may wonder why cereal monsters would rank so high on the list?  I ask you why they shouldn't!  Every kid who isn't AMISH has had at least one of these.

If you're one of the millions and millions who've truly drank the sweet BOO-BERRY milk, you know what I mean.

I've seen these at TARGET and WAL-MART as of late, so if you'd like to reexplore the wondrous goodness of these fine cereals, try looking there.

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